Shadow Work: What It Is and How To Start (+ Prompts)

Although self-growth and personal development can be regarded as overall positive life experiences, they do include some not-so-fun elements. In order to spark growth and change, you have to first be aware of what it is that needs changing. This is where shadow work comes in.

(If you’re just looking for the shadow work journaling prompts, they’re at the end of this post!)

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is a term used to describe the process of understanding and dealing with the “shadow” parts of yourself, aka, the things you’ve buried deep inside and away from the world because of the negative emotions they generate (guilt, shame, fear, anger, disgust, etc.).

No person wants to admit that they have flaws or unfavorable characteristics; society is constantly telling us that we have to be “perfect” in order to be accepted. 

However…we are human! We have flaws and make mistakes! Repressing these experiences without ever attempting to work through and accept them limits your ability to become a better version of yourself.

Depending on how big your problems are or how deep you’ve buried them, this practice can get uncomfortable, emotional, and even a bit scary. That is totally okay and even expected. (Believe me, I’m not jumping for joy every time I do shadow work.)

However, I want you to remember that change occurs on the other side of your comfort zone, and that doing the work now will reap positive rewards later.

Also, you’ve probably done shadow work before! If you’ve ever reflected on a negative situation, feeling, or thought to understand the reasoning behind it and how to change it for the better, that is technically shadow work – good job!

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Discovering Your Shadow

Shadow work is typically done through journaling. However, simply meditating or talking through the situations are also effective methods. Do what feels best for you!

Related post // Journaling 101: How and Why to Start

What exactly are you “working” on?

Shadow work is about exploring the darker parts of ourselves, think: negative beliefs, unhealthy habits, unfavorable emotions such as jealousy, bitterness, shame, guilt, anger, irritation, etc.

When these things show up in your life, it’s important to recognize them to then discover how to heal and move on from them.

Instead of ignoring or perpetuating your negative beliefs and emotions, step back and ask yourself why they are occurring.

Why do you constantly find yourself jealous of others?
Why does that one thing your friend does really annoy you?
Why do you overreact to minor situations/have such a short temper?
Why do you keep doing that bad habit even though you know it’s not serving you?

I know…these are tough questions to ask. But again, by dealing with them head-on, finding the root of the problem, and (with that awareness) finding the solution, you give yourself the opportunity to let go and replace these negative beliefs, habits, and emotions with positive ones.

Your thoughts and emotions manifest your experiences in life. So, if you are holding onto undesirable beliefs (“I’m not good enough” “I can’t do this” “I’m unlovable” etc.), you are going to continue to attract situations that match them.

Shadow work allows you to break yourself out of the cycle of negativity and create a new cycle of peace, positivity, and happiness.

How To Do Shadow Work

The first step to shadow work is asking yourself if you’re ready for it.

Are you ready to change your life for the better? Are you willing to possibly get uncomfortable if it means bringing in positive changes? Are you prepared to confront the shadow parts of yourself?

If you’re reading this blog post, there’s probably a part of you that knows you’re ready. Again, I don’t want to scare you or make shadow work seem undesirable, because the changes it brings about will be catalysts for your personal development.

Next, become more aware of your emotions, thoughts, beliefs and actions.

Awareness is key. You can’t change what you don’t know needs changing.

Start to take note of every time you feel, think, act, or react in a negative way.

For example, I may find that I become unnecessarily angry at a minor inconvenience, such as someone cutting me off while driving. The moment only lasted a second, I’m perfectly safe, and it most likely was an accident on their part, but for some reason it sends me into a spiral of frustration and anger.

Reflect on the situation and ask yourself why.

Recognizing that I’ve become angry, I ask myself, why? I know it was most likely an accident that the person cut me off. If it was an accident, only lasted a moment, and everyone involved is safe, what is staying angry doing for me? It’s definitely not making me feel any better or will change the situation (because it’s now in the past).

I’m angry because they probably weren’t paying attention and could’ve put me at risk. I’m angry because they weren’t considering me. (Do you see where I’m getting at?) Finally, I recognize that I’m angry because I wasn’t in control of the situation.

Bingo, there’s the answer. My need for control.

Now that you’ve found the why, figure out how to change it.

When doing shadow work, you want to come to one (or all) of these conclusions:

• Letting go of the negative belief, emotion, action, etc. completely.
• Recognizing the root of the problem to be aware of any time it presents itself again.
• Reframing the shadow part to a positive emotion, belief, or reaction instead.

Continuing with my example, I now know that my anger stemmed from my need for control. I can now:

1. Let go of the situation and the anger because I know I can only control myself and my emotions, no one else’s. Holding onto the anger isn’t serving me.
2. Use this experience as a reference for every time I feel angry again, and therefore be able to work through future situations quickly and effectively.
3. Reframe my need for control into a positive experience: although I can’t control other people’s actions or emotions, I can control my own. After recognizing this, I can consciously choose positive emotions over negative ones because I know they will better serve me.

Ta-da!

Congratulations, you just took one step closer to your higher self.

How Often Do You Do Shadow Work?

Despite shadow work potentially helping you work through a negative part of yourself, and therefore stepping closer to your highest potential, it’s not a one-and-done deal.

You don’t just solve one problem and are suddenly released from all of your shadow qualities. Shadow work is a life-long practice because there are always parts of yourself to improve on (which is okay, we are human remember!).

As we “level-up” in life, we shed old parts of ourselves only to be faced with new ones.

However, this isn’t meant to turn you away from shadow work. It’s meant to inspire you; you have the ability to constantly learn and grow into the best possible version of yourself. Shadow work just helps you reach that version even quicker!

How often you do shadow work is up to you.

Personally, I do it mostly based on my intuition. Like my example of reflecting on the reason for my anger, I do shadow work when I find myself in a negative situation that I want to work through.

Other times, the situation may not be as clearly defined as that one, but I recognize that something is off in my life. Maybe I’m feeling sad or anxious for a few days, but can’t pinpoint why. If this happens, I’ll sit down with my journal and try to figure out the reason. (This would be a mixture of intuition and intentional practice.)

Finally, I sometimes just have to sit myself down with my journal like a kid that needs to do their homework. This typically happens when I know I have a problem that I have to work through (be it a pessimistic belief, bad habit, negative reaction to someone or something) but am avoiding the shadow work to heal it. (I’m actually at this stage right now…oops.)

Balancing Shadow and Light Work

I’d also like to point out that shadow work comes in waves and is balanced by light work. I’m not doing shadow work every single time I journal – that would get exhausting. It also wouldn’t allow time for you to implement what you’ve learned from your work.

(I’m not going to discuss “light work” here, but think of it as the opposite of shadow work – embracing and reflecting on the positive aspects of your life. Examples could be expressing gratitude, positive affirmations, self-care rituals, etc.)

What I’ve noticed in my life is that I naturally go through about 2-3 week-long periods of shadow and light work. Ebbing and flowing between the two as I see fit. This doesn’t mean that I’m purposefully sitting down every day with my journal, analyzing every aspect of myself. I just so happen to find that for a period of time I may feel off/sad/anxious and gravitate towards shadow work. In other periods I feel light/happy/peaceful and am attracted to light work.

Related Post // My Favorite Tools and Resources for Self-Development

Implementing Shadow Work Into Your Life

At this point, you hopefully have a good understanding of shadow work!

However, you also may be feeling a bit overwhelmed or lost on where to start. Don’t worry, I’ve provided some journaling prompts below for you to choose from. (You don’t have to do them all, simply choose one that resonates and go from there!)

Remember, the most effective way to work through your shadow parts is to be completely honest with yourself. It’s just you and your journal (or mind, if you’re doing this through meditation). There’s no judgment when it comes to your shadow self – we all have one. Humans aren’t perfect.

Taking the plunge to explore and heal from your negative thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions is actually something for you to be extremely proud of. There’s a lot of respect in getting uncomfortable in order to better yourself, and therefore, better the world around you.

Whether you’ve already been doing shadow work or this is your introduction to it, I am very proud of you and wish you good luck on your journey 🙂

Shadow Work Prompts:

1. What is something that other people do that annoys you? How does this reflect a part of yourself?
2. What is an embarrassing memory you have? Why was it embarrassing? Does it still embarrass you to think about? If so, recognize that it’s in the past, take what you’ve learned since then, and let it go.
3. What is something that sparks a short fuse in you (aka triggers you)? Why does this bother you so quickly and so much? What can you do to let go of the hold it has over you?
4. What is a promise to yourself that you have broken or continue to break? Why? Can you let go of this promise or change it to something that better serves you?
5. If you had everything you desired, what would your life look like? How would you feel? What would you do on a daily basis if you already had everything you wanted?
6. Do you dislike (or even hate) anyone? What about them do you not like? How do you display some of those characteristics yourself (and how can you change them)?
7. If you could write a letter to a person that hurt you, what would you say?
8. In what ways do you feel guilty? Why? How can you let go of that guilt?
9. In what ways do you envy others? How can you start embodying those things that you envy? Or, how can you let go of the jealousy?
10. How do you show up for others but fall short in showing up for yourself?

Ooooh, these are juicy…I know. Again, choose what resonates with you and be honest when answering it.

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If you’re ever looking for more personal development content, including shadow work prompts, make sure to follow me on Pinterest!

I wish you all the best of luck and lots of love x